Absurd Thread Starters and Hilarious Replies

1.TS：What an injustice! I am conceived as a porn star !
Reply : To be honest. I didn’t  recognize you in clothes at the first sight.

2.TS : I have aborted for five times …... I hate every man in the world !
Reply : You deserve it. Have you been banged by all men in the world? I am not involved in anyone. Why do you hate me? Do you do me an injustice? I hate all women in the world for no one is willing to let me do them.

3.TS : How can I become as strong as a bull? 5’9’’ within 60 kilograms.
Reply: It’s just so easy as rebirth from a cow.

4.TS : What’s wrong with me? I haven’t had a period for months without being pregnancy.
Reply : Go to hell! You transgender!

5.TS : English language only deserves beasts.
Reply : Hi

6.TS: The last virgin you may see is your baby daughter.
Reply : The only male virgin you may know is your daughter’s father.

7.TS : What should I do to my husband who has suffered from 10 years premature ejaculation?
Reply: You have no idea that his anus is red everyday.

8.TS: My computer has been infected dozens of times these days. Help me.
Reply : All you have to do is to uninstall your antivirus program. Really! I have tried! It really works. Not all people deserve this solution.

9. TS: What should I do after kissing my girlfriend?
Reply: Not let her husband know.

10.TS: The truth of Japanese porn videos. They consecrate some of them to jeopardize the mental health of the majority of our juveniles.
Reply : We should counterattack by presenting better films.

11.TS: My ex-girlfriend is borrowing money from me to abort. Should I lend ?
Reply: Tell her Mercedes never repair BMW.

12.TS: Which one is better between being an old virgin and hooker?
Reply: Stop pretending innocent! You gave it to your hand.

13. TS: It’s weird that I grow 2 centimeters today. Is that possible that 24-year-old can grow again?
Reply : Hallucination occurs in excessive masturbation. Check you ruler again.
14.TS: Why sanitary towel ads always choose blue liquid?
Reply: It’s cheap. The white one is bought to fake sperm while the red is bought to cheat others as if they are virgin.

15.TS: My girlfriend always has sex with me during my sleep. It’s exhausting.
Reply:Necrophilia?

16.TS: How to deal with friends taking advantage of you? One of my roommates always borrow my toothpaste and shampoo. I can’t bear anymore but too embarrassing to speak it out.
Reply: Put some protein highly-contained liquid into you toothpaste and shampoo.

17.TS: What does she mean that she always bows her head whenever sees me? To be honest, I have a crush on her
Reply: It’s because the “little you” raises his head whenever sees her.